Sick of Feeling Sick

I just really...have not been feeling "normal" for these past few weeks. It really seems like I can't catch a break between trying to keep my grades up and being focused on worrying about every little shitty thing in my life. I hate to be so overly negative, but it's hard to even think of positive events with my current state of mind. I feel like I've lost myself. Ever since I decided I was giving up on vet school (and I haven't really told that many people yet...), I kinda have been feeling like the world is crashing down on top of me. I'm no longer certain where I'm going with my life. It's like...I know what I want to do. The things that hold me back from doing these things  are actually very concrete things. Just to name a few:
1.) I couldn't change my major at this point, even if I really want to.
2.) Every different thing I consider has some different pre-req for grad school that I'm not going to be able to do because I'm already almost at my 150 credit limit (also related to #1)
3.) I also feel like I'm not involved in enough, even though I kinda did bust my ass when I was doing all this stuff for Pre-Vet Club. I have a lot of volunteer hours, but they're all pretty much specifically related to animals. I'm not sure how well that's gonna look on me in the long run.
4.) Money
5.) Confidence*** I'm not confident in my abilities at all. I always feel like everyone is doing better than me, and that's always been a huge problem for me mentally.

Now I just always have this sense of sadness I can't shake. I still go out and do fun things every once in a while, but even when I'm laughing and goofing off with my friends, I'm still overwhelmed by crazy thoughts and worries. Then it gets to the point where I just want to go lie down by myself somewhere and cry; let it aaaaall out. It makes me feel so trapped...I just want to be normal. I don't even know what "normal" people think about, but I'm pretty sure it's not the same as what I think about - obsessing over the thought of one thing or one person over and over and over.

Laaaawd, please give me strength as I continue to {try} to work out the kinks.

Lack of Constructive Support Only Moves People Backwards

1. "Are you doing this for attention?"
No, actually I'm not. Trust me: with social anxiety, unnecessary attention from random strangers is the last thing one would want.

2. "You just need to think more positive."
Really? Do you even know what anxiety is? Do you think I want all of these crazy sporadic thoughts in my head all day that can literally be debilitating? No, I'd rather not. And no amount of thinking "I'm going to be happy today" is magically going to be the solution to the problem. Give me something realistic to work with here.

3. "No one is staring at you. Quit freaking out."
Actually...I don't even know how to address this one. What my brain is telling me in MY head is totally different from what you physically see, so don't chastise me for something I can't physically control. You might as well just throw me out into a crowd of people and watch me shift uncomfortably as I scream from the inside.

4. "You just need to get over it."
As if I chose this mindset for myself. I don't wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say to myself, "I'm going to worry about everything today and have obsessive thoughts about insignificant things."  If anyone could see how many nights I spent up crying for all of the things in my head to just disappear somehow, maybe you would understand a little better. It's not something that just magically goes away over night. It comes back to haunt you not long after you step out of bed in the morning, even without conscious thinking.

5. "You're never going to survive in life thinking that way."
Yes, thank you for reminding me how my overwhelming anxieties and obsessive thoughts interfere with my daily life. Again, do you think I want to be this way? I would give anything to be able to go out and have a good time without being overly self-conscious  or think of crazy things so often that it literally makes me nauseous. If there was a magical pill to end all of that nonsense, I would willingly take it to never feel those feelings ever again.

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I think that biggest thing that people forget (even with more severe mental illnesses) is that just because something is in the brain that contains all of our wonderful thoughts and memories, a self-help change of mindset is not always a perfect solution. It takes a lot more than one pill or a few months of therapy to even see a drastic change, but it makes it even more difficult to work towards recovery when there is so much ignorance around us. Personally, I think the stigma for any mental illness could be lowered significantly if there was a sure fire way to get more and more people to actively think (and say) the opposite of the things listed above:

1. "What is it that's bothering you? Is there any way that I can make the situation less stressful for you?"
2. "I can sense that you are feeling bogged down by negative thoughts. Is there anything we can do to redirect you attention?"
3. "I know that you are feeling uncomfortable, but I will be here with you to help distract you from others."
4. "Have you tried ______? Maybe it will help you to start feeling better again."
5. "You will get through this, and I will be here to support you in whatever way I can until you feel comfortable enough to face these stressful situations alone."