Lack of Constructive Support Only Moves People Backwards

1. "Are you doing this for attention?"
No, actually I'm not. Trust me: with social anxiety, unnecessary attention from random strangers is the last thing one would want.

2. "You just need to think more positive."
Really? Do you even know what anxiety is? Do you think I want all of these crazy sporadic thoughts in my head all day that can literally be debilitating? No, I'd rather not. And no amount of thinking "I'm going to be happy today" is magically going to be the solution to the problem. Give me something realistic to work with here.

3. "No one is staring at you. Quit freaking out."
Actually...I don't even know how to address this one. What my brain is telling me in MY head is totally different from what you physically see, so don't chastise me for something I can't physically control. You might as well just throw me out into a crowd of people and watch me shift uncomfortably as I scream from the inside.

4. "You just need to get over it."
As if I chose this mindset for myself. I don't wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say to myself, "I'm going to worry about everything today and have obsessive thoughts about insignificant things."  If anyone could see how many nights I spent up crying for all of the things in my head to just disappear somehow, maybe you would understand a little better. It's not something that just magically goes away over night. It comes back to haunt you not long after you step out of bed in the morning, even without conscious thinking.

5. "You're never going to survive in life thinking that way."
Yes, thank you for reminding me how my overwhelming anxieties and obsessive thoughts interfere with my daily life. Again, do you think I want to be this way? I would give anything to be able to go out and have a good time without being overly self-conscious  or think of crazy things so often that it literally makes me nauseous. If there was a magical pill to end all of that nonsense, I would willingly take it to never feel those feelings ever again.

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I think that biggest thing that people forget (even with more severe mental illnesses) is that just because something is in the brain that contains all of our wonderful thoughts and memories, a self-help change of mindset is not always a perfect solution. It takes a lot more than one pill or a few months of therapy to even see a drastic change, but it makes it even more difficult to work towards recovery when there is so much ignorance around us. Personally, I think the stigma for any mental illness could be lowered significantly if there was a sure fire way to get more and more people to actively think (and say) the opposite of the things listed above:

1. "What is it that's bothering you? Is there any way that I can make the situation less stressful for you?"
2. "I can sense that you are feeling bogged down by negative thoughts. Is there anything we can do to redirect you attention?"
3. "I know that you are feeling uncomfortable, but I will be here with you to help distract you from others."
4. "Have you tried ______? Maybe it will help you to start feeling better again."
5. "You will get through this, and I will be here to support you in whatever way I can until you feel comfortable enough to face these stressful situations alone."