Growing up, I really wasn't that interested in spending time on the computer. Most of the time that I was consisted of eight year old me looking up random websites that I could join like Barbie or Cartoon Network... It wasn't until about seventh grade that I really made use of any particular website. In 2007, an old neighbor of mine introduced me to a game she was playing called "VMK" or "Virtual Magic Kingdom." It was basically a huge promotion game in the event of Disneyland's 50th anniversary. I said "okay." It looked pretty fun, so I decided to create an account of my own. I ended up really enjoying it: so much so that I basically made it my life to play it from the time I was home until it closed at 1 a.m. The day after my 13th birthday (Valentine's Day 2007, to be exact) I was Googling random things for VMK, like special codes and all that jazz. I came across a website called "MiceChat.com." At first, I wasn't sure of the extent of this new place. I started out in the VMK forums until about the end of 2007. Eventually, I ended up following one of my friends that I met there into the main forums. I met some new, wonderful friends in there. And well....I'm just going to leave it at that until I decide to write my life story as a novel *eyeroll*
Anywho... these online friendships basically have either gone two ways at this point: absolutely wonderful or absolute shit. I'll admit it: just like everyone else, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life thus far. I've said the wrong things, trusted the wrong people, so on and so on. It hurts me to this day to think of some of the great memories I've had that have just taken a turn down the drain, but I wouldn't trade those memories for the world. The Internet has taught me so much about life that it's actually scary. When I'm really in the zone, everything seems so real. It doesn't feel like the people that I'm talking to are 600 miles away or even 3,000 miles away. People have come and gone out of my life, some being at my fault and some really theirs. I've learned that I can't impress everyone; I've learned that I can only be and do so much for people on the other side of the computer screen (or even in real life). Even though the people that I talk to are real people in reality, I know how to disconnect myself as I would with my friends who are here with me. I've been lied to, lied about, rejected, resented, and welcomed by all of these people. But most importantly of all, I've been loved. It may sound weird to people, but it's true. Not everyone gets to have the same experiences.
Suffering from depression and anxiety for periods of time, I have had friends that I know I can go to. People may occasionally think that I am "acting out" or "nagging" people for attention, but in essence I think that my online relationships have saved my life all of this time. No matter what kind of funk I'm in, my best of friends always know how to make me laugh or just put a smile back on my face. I am forever grateful for the people who continue to be that special place in my life where I can escape and feel like I belong. If they know if or not, they are very special to me. They are my family away from my family, and I love them in a way that I couldn't explain to just some random person on the street. I think I'll keep them a little longer. ;)
For the memories that have been made and for the ones to come...thank you.
*Here are a couple I could find:
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| Me, Angel, and Sarah in Virginia Beach in 2012 |
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| Me and Sarah in Busch Gardens in 2010 |
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